I Want an Epidural For My Face, and I Want it NOW!

I'm back-ish.  The ongoing tooth/mouth pain I've been dealing with spiraled out of control in the last couple of weeks, so here is the update on that:

I had two more back molars that were thought to be the root of all this pain, and the decision was made to have them extracted and be done with it. I had that procedure done last Thursday, and I left the office happy as a clam thinking that FINALLY I would get some much needed relief. Only, by the next day, my mouth pain was worse. Now, I have had teeth pulled before and know what the healing process is supposed to feel like and the pain I was in was not normal. I called my dentist's emergency line that following Saturday and she ordered me more pain medication to get me through to Monday when I could go see her in the office. The pain meds did NOTHING. It was pure agony. I felt like all the teeth on the right side of my mouth had been smashed with a hammer, there were electric shocks that would run through my jaw, down my neck and to my shoulder. And then there was the muscle spasms.  For you ladies who have had children, imagine labor pains in your MOUTH. For weeks. There were times I wanted to die.

Monday came and I got to the dentist (my sister had to drive me because by this point I could barely go a few minutes without having another pain attack, and I had been awake for over 24 hours due to the pain). She checked me for things like dry socket at the extraction sites, and I had more x-rays. Nothing abnormal showed up. The diagnosis was is that I have facial neuralgia, which basically means the nerves on that side of my face have gone haywire. It can be very hard to treat and is very often mis-diagnosed. The best my dentist could do for me is give me a muscle relaxant to try and calm the muscle spasms, and thank god, they are helping. As long as I take them the intense "for-the-love-of-god-kill-me-now" pain has subsided to a manageable level. The down side-they make me so tired and loopy it's hard to function. I can't drive, and I basically wander around like a zombie when I'm awake. It's actually taken me days to write this one post. There have been a few times where the Tall Cute Guy has called me and apparently I answered the phone, but he barely recognized my voice and I have little to no memory of those calls.

The upside is, there has at least been improvement in my condition. For some people, neuralgia never goes away, and it's literally known to be one of the most painful conditions known to man. It even has earned the nickname "The Suicide Disease". Other treatments can include anti-seizure medication and laser surgery.  If I don't continue to improve the next step for me will be a neurologist, but due to my lack of health insurance, that's not really an option. Fun.

Anyway, just as a heads up- one of my readers (Momma F) asked if I would please share my price list spreadsheet that I showed you in this post. Don't worry Momma, I haven't forgotten you in my pain and drug-induced stupor, and that post should be up by tomorrow.

Till then, I'll be where I've been spending most of my time lately- zonked the heck out. By the way-the title of this post is literally something I said to my dentist. In the nicest way possible of course.